


existentialism

by dissociativeclifford



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Existentialism, Implied Dissociation, M/M, Sad, Short, Soft Boys, Some pining, eh, or depersonalization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 17:39:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11166786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dissociativeclifford/pseuds/dissociativeclifford
Summary: "Do you ever feel like your existence isn't worth anything?"





	existentialism

**Author's Note:**

> wow i wrote something for once
> 
> this was just vent writing which is why it's short and i'm aware it's a little romanticizing mi but i was coping i am sorry

"Calum?"

"Yeah Michael?"

"Do you ever feel like your existence isn't worth anything?"

"I shouldn't, but I do."

Michael sighs deeply as he leans back in the bed of Calum's truck. It's late, and Michael swears that there must be stars in Calum's eyes because they're shining so bright.

"Me too," Michael replies and takes a swig of the beer bottle in his hand. He's not the biggest fan of beer, as most sixteen year old boys would be, but Calum had gone through the effort to get it; Michael desensitized himself to the tangy taste.

There's another lull in the conversation and Michael can feel Calum's eyes on him. He doesn't dare meet the darker boy's gaze, instead stares out at the vast field in front of him until Calum breaks the silence.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Go for it."

"Sometimes I get sad."

"Who doesn't?"

"But, like, really sad. I... I think something's wrong with me."

Michael doesn't say anything, instead just scoots closer to Calum and rests his head on the broad shoulder. Affection isn't the rarest thing between the two, but nevertheless Michael can feel his heart beating and he's afraid Calum can too.

"Me too," the brunette says, his voice monotone. He feels Calum's muscles tense beside him, and adds, "Not you! Nothing's wrong with you. I meant with me."

Calum laughs softly. "We're both pretty fucked up, aren't we?"

Michael laughs back, taking another swig of his beer and sitting up straight as to not invade Calum's space. "We really are."

"Look at us, romanticizing ourselves like a Front Bottoms song," Calum says nonchalantly, opening his palm for Michael to share the beer, as he'd already downed his. Michael watches him as he swallows a gulp of beer, studying his facial features.

Calum finishes off the bottle and lets it drop to the hard surface of the truck bed, and his gaze drifts back to Michael's. Michael doesn't shy away, just smiles gently at Calum when he's caught staring.

"Hey Michael, can I tell you a secret?"

Michael hums in agreement.

Calum kisses Michael, and Michael's lips taste like beer. They don't talk, just sit in the darkness for a while, until Michael crawls into Calum's lap and sucks bruises into his neck.


End file.
